I miss you bebe. I really do.

I miss talking to you about little things, hearing your voice, laughing with you, and having you as my person. I miss the comfort of knowing that somewhere in this world, I had you.

It's strange how someone can be so close to your heart and yet feel so far away.

I'm sorry for the times my anger became bigger than my love. For the moments I let my emotions speak louder than my heart. For making you feel like your efforts were never enough, even when you were trying in your own way.

I know I wasn't always fair to you.

Sometimes, I was so focused on the love I wanted to receive that I forgot to see the love you were already giving me.

I wanted to feel loved, chosen, and reassured. But instead of explaining my feelings gently, I sometimes let my fear turn into anger. I pushed you away when a part of me was only afraid of losing you.

You didn't deserve to feel that loving me meant always having to prove yourself.

I'm sorry for that bebe.

I wish I had learned to hold your heart more gently while asking you to hold mine too.

I hope you know that my anger was never the whole story.

There was a girl behind all those emotions who loved you deeply, who wanted to feel special to you, who wanted to be the person you looked forward to talking to at the end of the day.

I wanted your attention, your affection, your time. I wanted to feel that you were happy to have me, just as I was happy to have you.

But I understand now that loving someone also means learning how to express what you need without hurting them.

I cannot use my feelings as an excuse for the ways I hurt you.

I can only be honest about them, take responsibility for my part, and wish I had done better.

Because bebe, I wasn't trying to make you unhappy.

I just didn't always know how to handle how much you meant to me.

And somewhere along the way, I let the fear of losing your love make it harder for us to love each other peacefully.

Despite everything, I don't want our story to become nothing but the memories of our arguments.

We had good days, too.

I remember the boy I fell for, and the little things that made him special to me.

I don't think our love was meaningless just because we struggled. I don't think the beautiful things we shared suddenly disappear because we ended up hurting each other.

I wish I had known how to ask for them without making you feel that everything you did was wrong.

If I ever got another chance with you, I wouldn't want us to return just because we missed each other.

I'd want us to return because we understood each other a little better, because we were willing to change, and because we both wanted to take care of what we had.

I can't change the way I loved you yesterday.

But I can be honest about what I wish I had done differently.

I don't know what you feel when you think about me now.

I don't know whether you miss me, whether you're angry with me, or whether you're trying your best to move on.

I know I cannot ask you to feel what I feel.

And I know that saying I'm sorry doesn't erase the things that happened between us.

But I want you to know this:

I miss you.

I regret the ways I hurt you.

And I still love you.

Not because I think I did everything right. Not because I believe missing you means we must find our way back to each other.

I love you while knowing that I had my own mistakes too.

I wish I had been more careful with your feelings. I wish I had made it easier for you to understand my heart. I wish I had shown you more appreciation while I still had the chance.

If you ever wondered whether you mattered to me, you did.

You mattered in the little moments, in the ordinary days, in the plans I imagined, and in the quiet spaces where I still find myself thinking of you.

You were never just someone I talked to.

You were my bebe.

And I miss being yours.

I'm sorry, Bebe.

I miss you.

And I love you, still.

Always with love,

Your Bebe.